Friday, July 9, 2010

Playgroup Bully?

Well, it happened once again. Not surprising to me at this point. I've been dealing with Brady being the playgroup bully since we started with playgroups. He's such a sweet, loving kid that I hate to think that other kids won't want to play with him because if he doesn't get his way they are likely to get hit, kicked, or pushed.

All the big kids went out to play on the playset and, as usual, it ended with a  little girl coming to tell us that Brady hurt her. Apparently, there was a minor thing earlier where he hit a couple people. Then, later on, one of the girls come in with scrapes on her face. She said Brady kicked the door of the clubhouse in and hit her. Brady told me that they were being mean saying that he wasn't allowed to come in. I'm just getting really worried about him and his social skills. Everytime someone does something he doesn't want, he tries to get his way by kicking/hitting/pushing. I'm at a loss as to how to help him. He knows what he is supposed to do, but just can't do it in the heat of the moment. I'm scared no one is going to want to play with him anymore. He didn't seem to have these problems at preschool this year (but did the year before), so I'm hoping he'll do okay in Kindergarten in the fall. He's also become much more aggressive with me lately, and I don't really know how to handle it.

I don't know if it would help or not, but I'm thinking about calling to see if we can get back into some OT.

If anyone out there has dealt with this, please let me know what, if anything, helped.

1 comment:

  1. It isn't uncommon for kids like ours to not know how to use 'their words'. Here is what I would do:

    * Sign him up for private social skills classes. They are fantastic -- if you need help finding one in your area, post on and someone will help!

    * Give him words to use. Actual scripted things to say when he is upset. Things he can remember and use.

    * Practice with him using social stories.

    * Choose your social outtings carefully with less children. Playgrounds might be too advanced for his social skill practice. Most classes suggest starting with one-to-one play dates where you can practice skills like sharing control during play. Step back a bit and start where he actually is, not where you would like for him to be socially. (We have NEVER been to a playgroup)

    * Be ready for a play date -- plan what you will do, and alternatives in case the friend isn't intersted. Having a goal in mind helps them to be productive and not just social hour for the adults.

    * Make sure you have followed your sensory diet before playdates (or groups) so he has the best chance at being calm and organized -- and able to practice social skills.

    OK, I can keep going, but I don't want to overwhelm you! LOL

    The best news? He sounds just normal to me. :) Hang in there -- you are doing great -- and so is he! (Even with a little kicking and hitting!)