My Big, Brave 5 Year Old

Brady came down this morning wearing a shirt that is known to have an itchy tag. He always wear another shirt under it to protect his skin.

He let me help him put on the "short socks" that he threw at me the last time we tried them thinking they were Henry's and telling me they were waaaaaaaay too small (ankle socks instead of crew socks) .

He got through his first fire drill at school, said it was just a little scary but he was brave and got in line with the other kids.

He allowed me to put on his socks and shoes yesterday even though he had a little boo-boo on his ankle. I was bracing for the shoe being thrown at me, but he just calmly told me he was ok with it.

He went out to dinner and then to bed last night and to school this morning w/out finding his lost toy lizard.

He says he loves the noise of the cafeteria!

He said he'd rather play chalk during recess than on the equipment??

He's been fine with the string of the nametag around his neck, which he couldn't stand touching his skin at orientation.

"Now that I'm 5, I'm a lot braver and that stuff doesn't bother me. When I was 4 it did, but now that I'm 5 it doesn't."

I could just cry! He's come so far in the last couple of years. At least so far, it's looking like Kindergarten is agreeing with him. I hope it keeps up! And I hope the itchy tag and short socks don't make him have a bad day today after he insisted he was fine with them.

Kindergarten!

Brady started Kindergarten this week!! After two days, he says he LOVES it.

He did very well getting ready the first two days, but today I got a glimpse of how it's probably going to go more often than not. He gets so darn distracted when he's supposed to be getting ready in the morning. He has his clothes picked out for the whole week in his closet, but comes down this morning in something different. Grr... that means he has to go back upstairs to change after breakfast (and no, he didn't want to wear his initial outfit which would have been fine with me). So, Henry is downstairs eating breakfast and Brady is upstairs doing who knows what? He FINALLY gets changed and comes down. Apparently, when he was eating breakfast he had asked to help me clean (he saw me wiping the table) and I had told him yes, once he was ready. Too bad it took him close to 30 minutes to be ready and at that point it was almost time to leave. So, to avoid an explosion, I gave him a sponge and let him wipe the table. Luckily, once Henry was done eating, he was ok stopping the cleaning because he's determined to the first one at the bus stop. Letting him clean always worries me b/c he doesn't want to ever stop, EVER. Combine these things with a new plastic lizard that he has to take care of AT ALL TIMES, and I'm starting to see our rough mornings getting to school coming back.

Oh, and we've just started soccer with practice on Wednesday nights. He gets off the bus at 4pm and has to be at practice by 5:30pm. So yesterday (our first time doing this), was a nightmare! I let him watch a show when he got home, and then he had to eat some dinner. He ate a tiny bit of dinner and then I started asking him to get his soccer stuff from his room. The process started off well enough, but then something changed and his tiredness led to meltdowns and explosions. I'm not even really sure what happened, but I remember one of them was caused by him tripping over his own feet. He blamed me b/c I was sort of near him, so he ran away from me and crashed onto the couch, screaming that he needed to be alone and don't talk to him and don't be near him. So I have to grab Henry and carry him away screaming(he's missed Brady all day and just wants to be near him). I could see it in Brady's eyes that if we didn't get away from him that we would be hurt. So, we sent Daddy off to soccer (he's the coach and HAS to be there on time) and let Brady cool off. About 10 minutes later, he came to the other room and let me help him finish getting ready. We had a small explosion at the soccer field, but luckily it was all directed at me b/c I wouldn't let him pull up all the turf on the field.  Bedtime wasn't much better b/c he couldn't find an appropriate blanket to tuck his lizard in with. It was almost 9 by the time he fell asleep. I'm worried about this evening b/c of the lack of sleep and the grandparents will have to put him to bed as we head off to preschool orientation. And grandparents get him very keyed up.

On a good note - When he gets that crazy, "I'm gonna hurt someone" look in his eyes, he's running off to be alone and hiding behind the couch cushions instead of running at me with his fists and feet flailing. I think he might actually be learning some self-control! So, whether we're running late or not, I guess I'll just have to be thankful that he's finding the time and place to cool off instead of hurting me or his little brother.

Happy Birthday!

Brady's 5th birthday was yesterday.

Last Saturday, we had a party at Chuck E Cheese (his choice).  He chose this venue because we had been there for another birthday party a couple months ago. The birthday child gets an inflatable crown with tokens and gets to try and catch tickets in a ticket blaster. He was VERY excited about getting in the ticket blaster. I knew VERY well that there was no way he'd actually do it. I wanted to give him the best possible shot at being able to do it, so we had them turn it on beforehand so he could see just how loud it was. He was still excited about it. They said Daddy could go in it with him.  Once the time came, he insisted that Daddy go first, without him. He LOVED watching Daddy do it (and Daddy gots LOTS of tickets!). After Daddy was done, he managed to get himself in there with a terrified look on his face. They started it up and he begged to get out instantly. Luckily, the attendant turned it off very quickly when I told her to so that he didn't completely freak. I could see it in his eyes that if he was in there for 5 more seconds, he would have completely melted down. In the end, I was just super proud of him for trying, especially considering how he probably would not have even gone near it a couple years ago. It's hard, though, to know that your kid really wants to do something and just can't handle it.

Waiting for it to start

 

So, happy birthday to my sweet little boy! It's been a long road, but I feel like we're finally starting to understand you and how to help you be the best Brady you can be!

The Beach and Looking Back

First of all, I'd like to apologize for being a horrible blogger lately! I keep thinking of post ideas, but haven't found the time to actually get them written.

We went to the beach with my family a few weeks ago. Brady absolutely LOVED the beach. Everything about it. He played in the sand, carried tons of buckets of water to the hole that was inevitably dug every day. Even splashed in the surf, and rode in the kayak with Daddy. My eyes kept seeing all the proprioceptive input he was getting all day long (which he never tired of), and I think it helped get him to do this -

Before this trip, it took all he had to just get his face in the water, but at the beach, he very easily jumped in from the side and dove for torpedos. It was amazing.

I couldn't help but think about the last time we were at this exact beach in this exact house - 3 years ago. Brady was almost 2 and I'd never even heard of SPD. I was reading "Raising Your Spirited Child" to help figure him out. It did help to some extent, btw. The one thing that sticks out most in my mind is how he reacted to the ocean. We were in the Outer Banks, where you have to walk up steps to go over the big sand dunes. You couldn't hear or see the ocean before you reached the top. And as soon as you reached the top with Brady, he'd start crying and screaming and trying to jump out of your arms back toward the house. It was crazy! Each day got a little better. I think it was the second or third day of trying to get him out there, as we were standing at the top of the stairs, he started saying "OFF!" while pointing out at the ocean. Aha! That's the problem, it was TOO LOUD! Too bad I couldn't fix that for him. So we spent a lot of time at the house, and towards the end of the week he could tolerate it enough to go and play in the sand with his cousins for awhile.  I also remember some drinks getting splled b/c we were with people who weren't used to his craziness and would dare to leave a drink unattended within his reach, and a lot of food being thrown during the big family meals, and other people's food being pushed away if it got too close to his personal space. I remember him spending most of the meals with his booster seat up against the wall so that he couldn't reach anyone else's food and push it on the floor.

So, it was interesting to be back in the same house again, with an older Brady whom we now understand a bit more and Henry being about the same age Brady was the first time. With understanding what is behind a child's blowups, it is easier to diffuse them. I could see it in his eyes when he was about to get aggressive and could usually diffuse the situation, and he played wonderfully with his cousins at the house, the pool and the beach. It was also interesting to see how Henry did with it all. He loved the beach (unless sand touched his face) and the pool from the start, and left everyone's food alone. He had more meltdowns than normal, but I think that's to be expected at 2 years old.

Two kids in one?

Most people who know Brady love his sweet personality and love of life, not to mention his hilarious antics and funny quotes. He's very smart and wants to know everything about everything. He's a wonderful big brother, making sure Henry is ok when he cries, wanting him to play in his room with him, and teaching him how to do "big kid things". He tells us he loves us all the time.  He loves his friends and makes them cards and wants them to come over all the time.

And then there's his other side. The side that slaps, kicks, scratches when you touch him to try to get his attention when he's ignoring you. The side that runs to attack you because you did something that he didn't like. The side that kicks you in the gut if you try to brush his skin or help put on his shoes when he's not in the mood. This side of Brady is starting to get scary when it shows up.

Brady has always been an aggressive kid. When he was a toddler, he was usually the first one to hit at playgroups and would run and tackle kids at his gym class. Sometimes, he'd be standing up for himself when someone took his toy and that was pretty normal for that age. But it was the times where it was completely out of the blue that were hard to handle. How do you help a kid "use their words" when you had no idea what he was trying to say? As he started talking better, things got better, at least in public, and when it did happen, I'd at least be able to see why it happened. As we learned about his SPD, I realized that he was doing these things at playgroups and gym class because he wanted to leave (that was usually the consequence) and couldn't tell me in an appropriate way. And then I felt guilty for putting him in those overstimulating situations.

We really persued the SPD diagnosis because he was having problems in 3yr old preschool. Whenever they lined up, he pushed and they dominoed. When another kid got into his personal space, they'd get a toy thrown in their face or pushed down or hit. After several months of OT, he did beautifully in 4 yr old preschool. We still had some problems here and there, it's just in his nature, but it was manageable. Then came the summer and a big increase in the aggression, most of it aimed at me.

We have just finished reading "The Exposive Child" and it has definitely helped with the predictible explosions, when I know that something is coming that might cause one. But usually the aggression comes out when someone does something that he wasn't expecting in his mind, or does it the wrong way. Or, if he doesn't want to do something that needs to be done, he'll either ignore me or talk over me. I used to be successful is getting him to listen if I touched his shoulders. But lately, he runs away from me, and if I'm successful in getting close to him, I get hit or kicked.

I just scheduled a new OT evaluation, but couldn't get in until the end of September! Grrr..... So, for now, I'm banking on a new dedication to his picture schedule, sensory diet, and just hoping that the routine of school in September helps to allow us to see the sweet, caring child that we all know he truly is.

Playgroup Bully?

Well, it happened once again. Not surprising to me at this point. I've been dealing with Brady being the playgroup bully since we started with playgroups. He's such a sweet, loving kid that I hate to think that other kids won't want to play with him because if he doesn't get his way they are likely to get hit, kicked, or pushed.

All the big kids went out to play on the playset and, as usual, it ended with a  little girl coming to tell us that Brady hurt her. Apparently, there was a minor thing earlier where he hit a couple people. Then, later on, one of the girls come in with scrapes on her face. She said Brady kicked the door of the clubhouse in and hit her. Brady told me that they were being mean saying that he wasn't allowed to come in. I'm just getting really worried about him and his social skills. Everytime someone does something he doesn't want, he tries to get his way by kicking/hitting/pushing. I'm at a loss as to how to help him. He knows what he is supposed to do, but just can't do it in the heat of the moment. I'm scared no one is going to want to play with him anymore. He didn't seem to have these problems at preschool this year (but did the year before), so I'm hoping he'll do okay in Kindergarten in the fall. He's also become much more aggressive with me lately, and I don't really know how to handle it.

I don't know if it would help or not, but I'm thinking about calling to see if we can get back into some OT.

If anyone out there has dealt with this, please let me know what, if anything, helped.

Going to the movies

Most days Brady seems like a typical rough and tumble little boy who has some quirks. But it's outings like this that remind me that he does have some "special needs." We've been wanting to see "Toy Story 3", but we were wondering if we should take Henry or not. He's still a bit young to sit still through a whole movie, and we wanted to try out Brady's new kid-sized earmuffs. So, the three of us headed to the free summer movie this morning - "Horton Hears a Who" which Brady has already seen multiple times. He's been to a couple movies before and was fine as long as we kept him out of the seating area until he got used to the loud sound, so I wasn't quite expecting the difficulties I had with him since he was now armed with earmuffs.

He insisted on having the earmuffs on before even going into the theater and it still took a lot of convincing to get him to walk in as he was scared of how dark it was and how loud it might be. Then, I had to hold my hand over his eyes off and on for about 40 minutes because he was scared of things looking like they were going to come out at him. I guess I should explain this fear by telling you that we made a horrible mistake in trying to go to the 4D movie at Busch Gardens a few weeks back. After two water squirts, he was curled up in a ball screaming "make it go away." So now he's scared of things coming at him from the movie screen. Poor kid.

I kept telling him we could leave if he wanted to and watch it at home, but he said he was too scared to walk down to the door b/c he'd have to get closer to the screen. It was a mess. Towards the end, he settled in and had some Goldfish and is still claiming that he loved going to the movie theater.

And all that was the easy part of the day. As we were leaving the theater a little girl bumped into him and spilled water on him. He had to hide until she was no longer in his site. Then he kept growling very loudly in the car, which made his brother do it as well, and then he cried for his earmuffs b/c it was too loud. Then we get home and had tantrum after tantrum over how I cut his sandwich (the way he originally asked, but then he changed his mind a second too late). After 5 minutes in his room, he was able to come and eat the heart-shaped sandwiches. After lunch he was a little better, but more argumentative than normal (which is very) and hitting and screaming when I don't let him do exactly what he wants.

He's in quiet time now, playing pretty nicely, so hopefully he'll be feeling better after some downtime.

And in case you were wondering, Henry did beautifully at the movie. Sat quietly through the whole thing, not getting upset until I picked him up to leave!